![]() There’s no reason why it has to be intercourse sex is connecting with another person in a physically pleasurable way.” We’ve all been told this before, the idea that sex is a mind and body thing, but we forget. You might not expect a bisexual dominatrix to take the physical out of the equation, but Mistress Aces told us, “In some circumstances, kissing is sex. ![]() And when they love it, you love it too.” Enough said. I learned that it’s okay to take control. If for some reason things are not going in that direction, I need to not only guide him or tell him what to do but actively change positions, change the pace or stimulate myself. It’s not the man’s responsibility to pleasure me and have me achieve an orgasm. Be active and take chargeįrom Yael’s varied experiences with men and women, she has concluded, “It’s okay to become an active partner. More: 7 Things about foreplay sexperts really want you to know 6. Make it a special occasion, because let’s face it: sex is special. Enjoy it, and some nights, just have oral sex without intercourse. Slow down and realize foreplay is still “play.” Nicole said, “Foreplay can last for a long time and be just as good as the actual act of an orgasm.” Plus, according to her, oral sex is more than an appetizer it’s a main event. We’re still thinking about the day, so we’re in that hurry, hurry, need-to-finish mode. Foreplay and oral sex can be the main eventĪgain, this is part of the rush-rush culture. Nicole concurs, “Straight women don’t know that their best orgasms will come from stimulation not penetration.”ĥ. So while having intercourse with a man, I favor positions where my clitoris is stimulated or shift myself in a way that it is.” Don’t expect that the simple act of intercourse is going to get you off. She identifies as bisexual, but over the course of her relationships with women, she learned “that it’s still all about the clitoris. Yael is the founder of a natural food supplement company called Pure Standard. That doesn’t mean the sex doesn’t still feel good. If your partner is mature, he’ll understand that sometimes, it just ain’t gonna happen. She added, “For starters, straight women don’t know that they DO NOT have to fake it.” How many times have you been in bed with a guy and he’s doing things right but you’re not anywhere near the Big O? Do you fake it just so he’ll give up? Stop it. Nicole had a lot more to say than just cuddle-power. More: 7 Lousy reasons women aren’t achieving orgasm 3. Cuddling gets your oxytocin levels up, which makes you feel closer to your partner and happier in general. Get me that orgasm and get me to sleep! Well, don’t forget the cuddles. Slowing down will improve the experience for both of you and make you really consider the other person’s body, mind and heart.ĭiane says, “Spooning goes a LONG way in keeping the togetherness ratio HIGH.” Nicole Sanders backs her up: “After sex cuddle feels almost as good as the sex session … almost.” Again, especially in long-term relationships, we can have a race to the finish mentality. It’s simply a longer and more sensual experience.” This makes sense since women tend to be more patient in bed and take longer to “warm up.” However, why can’t this be true in heterosexual relationships, too? Sometimes it can feel like a race to orgasm with your man. Jana told me, “Woman with woman sex tends to take about two to three times longer. What do they want straight women to remember in the bedroom? 1. I interviewed several women who identify as lesbian or bisexual and asked for their advice.
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